What is Patriotism?

What is Patriotism?

There were many articles in the newspaper over the 4th of July weekend asking this question. Most of them had ordinary citizens answer the question and some sought answers from the presumed presidential candidates from the Rebloodlicans and Democryps (the federal government’s version of the Bloods and Cryps).

Amazingly enough to me, they all seemed to miss the whole point. Here were some common answers:

• Saying the pledge of allegiance
• Holding your hand over your heart during the national anthem
• Flying the national flag
• Sporting “support the troops” bumper stickers on your car
• Tying yellow ribbons on trees

These are all symbolic gestures that, if you don't do them, will invoke a judgment of non-patriotism from those that are uninitiated or uneducated about our history. Personally, these don't do shit for me. Nor do country western artists singing about kicking ass, pictures of eagles in front of flags, or statements like "you're either with us or you're a terrorist". Being a retired veteran, these just sound like Chickenhawks to me - those that talk a big line but stop short of actually enlisting and putting their own ass (instead of your sons' and daughters' asses) on the line.

The roots of American patriotism reach back to the 17th century and the Puritans. Puritans thought of themselves as God's chosen people, yet as students of the Bible, they knew that God also chastised his children when they strayed from the covenant. That gives American patriotism a particular character. This is why choosing not to do the symbolic gestures above will evoke judgment from many Americans – it’s confused with religion. That's why headlines like I read in the Fort Worth newspaper - "A Vote Against Bush is a Vote Against God" work on your conscience. There’s an element of guilt that runs through this kind of patriotism. On a side note, I wish to be free of the moralists, whom I have found to be some of the biggest offenders of their own rules. Prior to the Civil war, the contemporary notion of national patriotism did not exist. Loyalty was given to the state in the Jeffersonian tradition. Remember the concept of United States during the birth of our nation? It was not the Federal Nation of America or the Federal Government of America.

Patriotism should denote a positive and supportive attitude towards a nation, state, region, or fatherland and covers such attitudes as pride in its achievements and culture, the desire to preserve its character and the basis of the culture, and identification with other members of the nation, state or region.

To me, a patriot is a person who regards themselves as a defender of individual and state rights against interference by the federal government.

I consider myself a patriot, not because of my 20 years of service in the military but because I KNOW what patriotism is and I live it daily.

So what, you may ask, is patriotism in my view? It is going a step further than just showing that positive and supportive attitude. It’s calling the federal government on the carpet when they cause our United States to stray from the principles that we embraced when this nation was founded; principles such as insuring domestic tranquility or securing the blessing of liberty for ourselves (words from the US Constitution). We should also admonish the federal government when they run us into unbelievable national debt, get us into concocted wars, attack sovereign nations that did not attack us, lock down our borders, or condone torture. These are not the principles I embrace as an Idahoan, Mountain State citizen, or an American and they certainly elicit no pride in my country’s behavior.

No, I do not want to go live somewhere else. I love this country; enough that I want it to get back on course and become, once again, the shining example it has been in the past. It takes patriots to do that.

“Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.” – Although often misquoted as Jefferson, it’s still an awesome statement.

As I said last 4th of July, without the dissent of those treasonous traitors such as Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, John Hancock, George Washington, or Paul Revere….we’d all still be speaking the King’s English today.

And they said the Dixie Chicks weren’t patriots. Get real. I'm "not ready to make nice" either.

Hole Addendum

I received several comments from friends and family identifying enough new sub-categories that it is worth publishing an addendum.  I have added their new “holes” plus one of my own that was triggered during an email exchange with Christian Koppenhafer.  I will give credit where due.  Here you go…

 

Checkhole – 1) a person who uses a personal check to pay for stuff at the grocery store and engages in any and all other activities EXCEPT THE CHECK WRITING PROCESS while the clerk rings up the entire order.  Only then does the checkhole sloth into action to actually begin the check writing process starting with the question “now what’s the date, again?”

-        Steve Campbell

Registerhole – 1) a cashier who never speaks one word to you while taking your money because he/she is too busy either: a) talking to her fellow cashiers about her love life or b) on the phone. This person is unresponsive to "thank you" and "have a great day" and just stares at you with hand out once your order is totaled.

-        Kathi MacNaughton (my cousin)

 

 

Bluehole – 1) someone who is so freaking important that they must walk around in all places at all times with a Bluetooth headset so that they may be ready within milliseconds of the arrival of a critical communiqué, press alert, or other history-making bulletin, to answer their cell phone without the use of a wired headset or the wasted effort of holding said cell phone to their ear

-        my own addendum

 

Stagehole – 1) a drunk person who repeatedly asks the band to play music that is clearly outside the genre of the band and usually leans on the singer’s mic stand, thereby causing the mic to hit the singer in the teeth.  Upon hearing that the band doesn’t play that type of music, the stagehole will normally respond with either “you guys suck” or “you guys rock” depending on which binary state their pea brain was stuck in last.

-        Christian Koppenhafer

 

Author’s note:  Christian originally called this the Drunkhole but on further study, it becomes clear that a Drunkhole has many other modus operandi and is deserving of a class in itself…to be defined later due to the sizeable number of iterations. 

Christian – thanks brother, you have steered us down yet another rant hole!

HOLES!

Everyone is familiar with assholes in general. They’re everywhere. Some know they’re assholes and don’t care, while others are clueless. Recently, I have noticed that assholes are evolving. No longer capable of covering the vast skill set required of a major asshole, or being too lazy to stay proficient in all areas of a general asshole, many people have moved towards specialization. As a public service, I have begun to catalog these sub-categories and am presenting them for your continuing adult education. But first, let’s review the definition of the basic asshole…

ass-hole [as-hohl]

1. vulgar slang for anus
2. a thoroughly stupid, mean, irritating, or contemptible person
3. the most undesirable place in a particular area

Now, as promised, I present the new sub-categories, as I have observed them. Keep in mind that there are more and more specialties cropping up each day and I am merely scratching the surface. If you have data on a sub-species not identified here, please make use of the comment button at the bottom of this article.

Binhole – 1) a person that takes up more than their allotted space in the overhead compartment on a plane, 2) a person that uses only their allotted space but moves YOUR shit to another location because they like the space where YOUR bag already is, better than the space left when they showed up late

Expresshole – 1) a person that gets in the express line with more than 10 items

Cellhole – 1) people that talk loudly on their cell phones while in a confined space with others (i.e. a bus, a restaurant, a bathroom, a lobby, in line at Starbucks, etc.) as if you are going to be impressed with the story of their lives or how cool they are, 2) drivers who cannot talk on their cell phone without driving as if they had just consumed two six packs and a blunt

Gashole – 1) a person who (at the last moment) sneaks into the pump you have been patiently waiting from the opposite side, thereby screwing you out of both pumps

Carthole – 1) a person who leaves their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle then walks away to look at something, rendering the aisle impassable, 2) a person that leaves their shopping cart up against your car in the parking lot or leaves it in the way of you backing out, resulting in you having to move their cart they should have taken care of in the first place

Handihole – 1) people who are not REALLY handicapped but get handicap stickers for their cars to compensate for their laziness and/or sense of personal entitlement; this would include people with allergies (hey, hold your sleeve over your nose during the extra 20 foot walk), motorcycle riders with handicap stickers (if you can put on all the crap that constitutes today’s Harley costume and ride a bike, you can walk your fat ass across the parking lot), and fat people whose only handicap is having a double sized ass (yeah, I’m fat too but I KNOW it’s good for me to do some extra walking)

Litterhole – 1) someone who just tosses their crap on the ground, 2) someone who leaves their used Kleenex in a shopping cart for you to enjoy, 3) someone who puts out their trash in an unsecured manner allowing their crap to blow around the neighborhood, then doesn’t care

McHole – 1) someone who leaves their used food crap on the table at a fast food restaurant table instead of picking up their own mess, 2) someone who frivolously wastes their time on some other non-related activity while waiting in line at the drive through, then doesn’t have their shit (money) together when their order is ready, causing you to wait even longer while your incorrect food order gets cold, 3) teen-aged fast food employee that wants to argue with you about whether or not the lukewarm greasy fries they made 15 minutes ago are fresh enough for YOUR taste

Phonehole – 1) people who leave excruciatingly long phone messages, driving home the point that the REAL underlying message is about them, 2) people that program phone menus, covering every possible freaking scenario of the message-leaving process so that it is faster to buy a plane ticket and fly to your town to give you the message in person, for crying out loud (think corporate)!

Tryhole – 1) someone who tries on underwear at the store, then puts if back for you to discover while looking for YOUR new underwear, 2) the same person who then moves to the shoe department and tries on shoes with no socks before deciding they aren’t quite right

Smokehole – 1) a person that smokes right next to you with no regard or courtesy then, through body language, begs you to get into an argument about their right to smoke, 2) a person that tosses lit cigarette butts on the ground or out the window of their car, thereby doubling their value to society as a Litterhole as well

Well...there you have it - the new sub-categories that leap to the front. I am interested in any others you can come up with...just click on the "comment" link below. And remember, you are not defenseless against assholes...

Trip to Amsterdam, Netherlands

I recently went on a business trip to Amsterdam, Netherlands.

Facts:

For those who are foggy about the geography, the Netherlands is bordered to the north and west by the North Sea, by Belgium to the south, and by Germany to the east. The Netherlands is often referred to as "Holland" but this is formally incorrect since North and South Holland are only two of the country's 12 provinces. However, some Dutch people use the name Holland when referring to their country since it is in such widespread use.

The Netherlands is a densely populated, low lying country popularly known for its windmills, wooden shoes, Delftware, tulips, cheese, Gouda pottery, dikes, and storm surge barriers. While the official language is Dutch, over 70% of the population have a good working knowledge of English.

The Trip

I left Portland for Chicago at 7:30 AM. After a two-hour layover in Chicago, we boarded the Boeing 767, headed across the pond to Europe. I had a liter of wine hoping to induce some sleep. After watching a couple of shows on my iPhone I finally drifted off for a bit. Eight hours later we crossed the coastline and the aircraft banked on short final into Amsterdam’s Schipol Airport.

I had not been to the Netherlands since I was a young child and I was anxious to see if the things I remembered still looked the same. Some things looked identical to my childhood memories but there was a whole new look to the countryside and city – modern infrastructure. Highway systems, flood control systems, and tunnels all seemed to work rather well and got us around with little delay.

Our team stayed at the Dorint Hotel near the airport. This place had the feeling that you were in IKEA store on steroids. The rooms were very modern European; well designed with no wasted frivolities. Controls were very different than what we were used to but also very intuitive. The one interesting twist was that your room key card had to be left in a slot on the wall for the room’s electrical system to stay activated. Check out the heated mirror!

While driving to downtown Amsterdam, the first thing that hits you is the different look of the cars. While there are cars from some manufacturers we recognize (mostly German), there are very few models we recognize from America. The popular manufacturers are Mercedes, BMW, Volkswagen, and Citroen. Not once did I see a Japanese, American, or Korean car, nor did I see one single pick up truck.

Downtown was very much as I expected having been to Western Europe before. The shopping district is mixed in with everything else. The Dutch have shopping malls downtown but they are outfitted into very old buildings so they are not an eyesore on the landscape. You would never know from looking at the outside that there were modern shops within. One interesting discovery in the shopping district is that “Sissy Boy” is a clothing line.

Of course you can’t go to Amsterdam without visiting its famous Red Light District. De Wallen is the largest and best known of the red light districts in Amsterdam and is a popular tourist attraction. It’s located in the oldest part of Amsterdam and is crossed by several canals. Besides the obvious prostitution and sex businesses, the area is home to a good number of fine restaurants and clubs. And of course, there are the famous “coffee shops”. Walking by the entrances leave no doubt as to what is being smoked within. Contrary to popular belief, pot is not legal in the Netherlands, but it is condoned. The cops don’t hassle anyone who keeps their wits about them. Whatever your bent, it is an interesting place to watch life go by.

It was a very interesting week and I thoroughly enjoyed the Dutch people, their customs, and their landscape. After an 18-hour travel day (due to bucking the westerly winds and a three hour delay in Chicago for eight inches of snow) I arrived back home, tired but glad to be amongst my own stuff again. No matter what adventure you’ve been on, there’s no place like home.

Super Tuesday - How It Works

The Election: How It Works

Election Process: Super Tuesday

The History

• Historically, Super Tuesday falls on a Friday.
• As always, Super Tuesday will fall the day after Overhyped Build-Up Monday and the day before Giant Letdown Wednesday, which precedes Remember All That Stuff Last Tuesday? Thursday.
• Super Tuesday was upgraded to Super-Duper Tuesday in 2008 when a number of state governments decided to pay only 39 cents more.
• While originally only eight states were scheduled to hold their primaries on Super Tuesday, everyone agreed that didn't seem quite super enough, so they threw in an extra few shitty states.
• New Hampshire came under fire in 2004 for trying to sneak in a second primary amidst the Super Tuesday hoopla.

The Size

• This Super Tuesday is supposed to be the largest to date, with an astounding 57 states holding primaries and an additional 39 holding caucuses.
• Some critics see the primacy of the Super Tuesday primaries as a negative influence on the electoral process, saying that as Super Tuesday has grown, it has drawn disproportionate influence away from the only two relevant states in the nation, New Hampshire and Iowa.
• Because of the Writers Guild Strike, instead of the raucous ceremony that usually accompanies Super Tuesday, representatives from each state will calmly walk up to the podium, announce their state's victor, and then quietly sit back down.
• In Alaska Super Tuesday coincides with Hey, What About Alaska? Day.
• Hillary Clinton shocked the political world by calling first dibs and no backsies on all 24 Super Tuesday states, the first time this has been attempted since William Howard Taft tried it in 1912.
• The consolidating effect of Super Tuesday allows everyone to get the whole presidential election process over and done with in time for Valentine's Day.

Drunks, Weirdos and Other Characters I Have Known

One of the entertaining things about owning a MAC is some of the fun applications that come with it. One such application is Photo Booth. Needless to say, it brings out the kid in all who sit in front of the screen. Here are some of my favorite encounters. I call it: Drunks, Weirdos, and Other Characters I have Known. I will add to it as more people stop by the photo booth. Enjoy my imagination!

(Click on photos for a larger version)












How can you tell this guy is an engineer?

1. Big cranium
2. Doesn't comb hair
3. Fine "lab attire"
   
4. All of the above
   

The Boss checks up on you to see if you are working hard. Are you slacking off? He will dock your pay and you will have to work overtime just to stay in his good graces. He's watching you!







Artist Bob Ross. "In my world, this happy little tree lives next to the pretty stream where the flowers play all day in the sunshine."








Eh heh...
That was so funny I forgot to laugh!








Oh my god. They want me to come to Roswell for an interview!









Fine...I don't care! Do what you want.









You're freaking me out!









Just pour me a Buttshot and I will be a happy woman . I will lick that baby clean, right down to the bottom of the glass!








Jay Leno's illegitimate son.









Whadda you lookin' at?









Mmm-hmm. What are you doing in there?









Uh-oh. What did I just sit in?









Having trouble...staying awake...must sleep...









Good LORD, I need a drink!









Nooo. You didn't...









Wow, sis. There's a huge lump on your head!

Well, at least it's not as big as your hand...

Watkins Glen State Park, New York

During a recent vacation to western New York we spent a day in Watkins Glen in the Finger Lakes region of New York. No, we were NOT there to see the race track or anything else Formula ONE. We were there to travel back in time 12,000 years.

Watkins Glen State Park is in a 400 foot deep narrow gorge cut through rock by a stream that was left hanging, when glaciers of the ice age deepened the Seneca Valley, increasing the tributary stream gradient to create rapids and waterfalls (wherever there were hard layers of rock). The rocks of the area are sedimentary that are part of a dissected plateau that was uplifted with little distortion. They consist mostly of soft shales, with some layers of harder sandstone and limestone. Over the past 12.000 years, the stream wore its way through the surrounding plateau, creating the gorge that is the park today. Bottom line – this makes for some incredible water drops, interesting pools, and an amazing record of the layers that once made up the inland ocean bed that covered the area. Within two miles, the glen's stream descends 400 feet past 200-foot cliffs, generating 19 waterfalls along its course. The gorge path winds over and under waterfalls and through the spray of Cavern Cascade. Rim trails overlook the gorge.

We decided to ascend the gorge itself and return via the old “Indian Trail” which comes back down the plateau through the woods along the gorge rim. All in all, there are almost two miles of steps ascending through the gorge and we climbed through a little over one mile of them. Along the way we saw many beautiful pools (including the Heart-Shaped pool), passed behind waterfalls flowing down the gorge as well as some falling down from the sides of the gorge rim, dodged drips here and there, and stopped to take lots of pictures.

As we hiked down the old Indian Trail through the woods along the rim, I thought about what it must have been like to be the first to discover this gem. It would be fascinating to know more about the local history of the gorge – what went on here over the centuries and who did what here. I’ll save that for another day of research.