Hole Addendum

I received several comments from friends and family identifying enough new sub-categories that it is worth publishing an addendum.  I have added their new “holes” plus one of my own that was triggered during an email exchange with Christian Koppenhafer.  I will give credit where due.  Here you go…

 

Checkhole – 1) a person who uses a personal check to pay for stuff at the grocery store and engages in any and all other activities EXCEPT THE CHECK WRITING PROCESS while the clerk rings up the entire order.  Only then does the checkhole sloth into action to actually begin the check writing process starting with the question “now what’s the date, again?”

-        Steve Campbell

Registerhole – 1) a cashier who never speaks one word to you while taking your money because he/she is too busy either: a) talking to her fellow cashiers about her love life or b) on the phone. This person is unresponsive to "thank you" and "have a great day" and just stares at you with hand out once your order is totaled.

-        Kathi MacNaughton (my cousin)

 

 

Bluehole – 1) someone who is so freaking important that they must walk around in all places at all times with a Bluetooth headset so that they may be ready within milliseconds of the arrival of a critical communiqué, press alert, or other history-making bulletin, to answer their cell phone without the use of a wired headset or the wasted effort of holding said cell phone to their ear

-        my own addendum

 

Stagehole – 1) a drunk person who repeatedly asks the band to play music that is clearly outside the genre of the band and usually leans on the singer’s mic stand, thereby causing the mic to hit the singer in the teeth.  Upon hearing that the band doesn’t play that type of music, the stagehole will normally respond with either “you guys suck” or “you guys rock” depending on which binary state their pea brain was stuck in last.

-        Christian Koppenhafer

 

Author’s note:  Christian originally called this the Drunkhole but on further study, it becomes clear that a Drunkhole has many other modus operandi and is deserving of a class in itself…to be defined later due to the sizeable number of iterations. 

Christian – thanks brother, you have steered us down yet another rant hole!